Divided we fall............

“Progress seems impossible for women, if divided; Reservation bill or no bill”, remarked a prominent woman personality, while talking on the much-debated issue for years. What a statement? When all the while we think we need to fight back male-dominance and stereotypical patriarchal society, does it come as a blow? Nah! It’s hardly news to us. From Kitchen politics to Parliament Politics, from Office politics to Social politics women have to fight back their own insecurities before they could fight for their rights. For every Sonia Gandhi, we have a Sushma Swaraj, who could go to the extent of threatening shaving off her hair, if an Italian lady gets sworn in as a PM (though turn of events surly left her black-faced if not bald). For every Manyatta Dutt, we have a sister-in-law Priya Dutt who would fight over Sanjay Dutt (through media interviews) to prove who owns him. And let’s stop here, lest the list consumes the whole space. The point is we don’t need anyone to demean us, we can do it ourselves. Every time, I read counter PoVs (point of Views) on Working mom Vs Homemaker mom, it puts me to shame like nothing else. For a Homemaker mom, (interviewers generally pick up a well-qualified ex-professional), it’s about being “there” with the child so that s/he does not get neglected. For a professional mom, it’s about creating her own identity and deriving satisfaction out of it through economic independence in spite of being a “mommy”. Whom are we trying to fool, if no one else? Everyone knows in their hearts that the former always live with a grudge or a (pseudo) proud feeling that she “sacrificed” herself/her ambitions for what she thought important or situations demanded of her (whether personal choice or a decision thrust on her); Similarly, a professional woman also knows that she’s compromising on the quality of maternal care she could provide if she could afford to be around and that, all talks of spending “quality time” versus “quantity time” is coined to cover up for what she’s missing out on. Why do former undermines the latter’s achievements to prove what she’s doing is the best way of upbringing a child or why latter humiliates the former to prove what kind of economic freedom and social admiration she enjoys while working. Why do we need to even compare? Whoever chooses whatever is finally one’s own decision or (sometimes other factors) in some cases. Wherever one is and whatever she’s doing, she should learn to be there with respect and that respect should NOT be highlighted by playing “demeaning” cards. Who need men to underscore our achievements when we ourselves enough to do that?